Thursday, September 29, 2005
I just fed a squirrel by hand
Wednesday, September 28, 2005
The Pigs; Guinea Pigs that is
Yesterday I did a test on the pigs that live on our floor, in hopes that they had improved their mental capacities for cleanliness, reason and common sense. At about noon I took a New York Times from the lounge, folded it nicely and place in the bathroom in one of the stalls. By the end of the day, I was not surprised to see sections hanging from toilets, scattered all about the entire bathroom, Oh and let’s not forget my favorite; urinated on. Wow. They are on the same level as cats. And I know it was a team effort, so these guys really must be trying hard. I think a large part of it has to do with the fact that they get cleaned up after. Because the bathroom isn’t their room, they can leave it in whatever condition and it will “magically” become clean on Tuesdays and Thursdays at 11:00 am when the poor cleaning lady comes in and stares at the effects of the very behaviors that I myself despise. I’m scared for our hallway. I honestly wouldn’t blame the cleaning lady if she went postal and killed us all.
Have you ever
Thursday, September 22, 2005
The People that Live in my Hallway
You know what people? I am just sick…of the idiots that live in my hallway. Every day they find new incredibly annoying habits and ways to astound me. Just so we’re clear from the start, lets have a simple physics lesson. Does a square with large area, fit through a circle with smaller area? If you answered No, you were correct. If you answered yes for any reason, odds are you live or are friends with the people of west wing 2nd floor Findley. Salsa. Does not fit down the bathroom sink. Banana peels, do not fit down the drinking fountain drain. Spaghetti, although smaller than the holes does not fit down the bathroom sink (Note: for anyone who may have committed this heinous act, just because it can fit down the drain, does not necessarily imply that it SHOULD go down the drain). These simple laws of physics are some fundamental shortages that have been missing from this particular dorm wing. I’m not sure where you go to school to learn to flush the toilet. I mean, we honestly should develop a class specifically for these mentally incapacitated few called, “Intro to Common Sense”. These are the same people that leave their lovely chaw spread all over the bathroom counter and drain. I have had enough guys. Do us and yourselves a favor, when either thinking (or attempting to think) in the future, please ask someone for help because obviously we need it more than we know.